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Savior
Waking with a song of joy on my lips, least expecting what the day will bring, famished at my desire for my Lord, praising Him through this song I sing.
I once thought of myself in words I wish not utter
Thinking of life and what it did not have to offer
Not knowing myself, with out guidance
Creating purpose in all my mind could sputter
I awake another day with this song of joy
My heart content, my spirit filled, my mind
and heart yearning for more,
my enemies against me, following my every footstep,
A day like every other, falling short as I do
knowing myself for who I am, simple and indifferent.
Dreaming dreams of insignificance, finding myself
Without he. How dare I sought completion from him
Where I stood not on solid ground. Mercy I have
Through his Grace, thankful I am and will ever be
Deaf, blind and without feeling I wish to be
For I desire not to lead myself, but to be driven
By him, in him, and for him. Purpose I seek in
A life lived here, so that when my time comes
I go not empty handed, but hand in hand with him
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My Heart
Where am I situated in all of this. Why is it that, I take on a responsibility, that seamlessly seems like I can never handle. I look to myself for answers and I come short many times, I stay in prayer with it and God gives me affirmation in prayer and prophecy, but then I come home, and what is it that gets me. I step into a sinners home, not because of all its occupants, but it is like I leave myself outside when I step inside. I hate it with a passion, this feeling, this darkness and emptiness. And I see myself powerless against it. I know that I have God and I have his spirit, and I am not afraid of what I feel. I want this to be a house that serves God, one that will die for him. But I beat my head against the wall and cry endless tears because it seems as though it will never be that. I live a life in which it is separate from those around me. And it seems almost impossible to rub off on them, for they do not agree what I stand for,. I am called a hypocrite and a saint by my own brothers, so that they can mock me, when I fall short in something. I am only looked at when I can be of service to them, when I can do something they can not. I hear sweet words of welcome, just so that a day can pass, and they utter the same words of hate and despise toward me. I get angry and upset, feeling as though I should lash out, and before I have and I have brought them to tears or if not anger. But I can not do that anymore, and I have not done that recently. Why is it that I struggle so much, that I want to win them over to Christ. I love them with all my heart, and I have prayed to God to just take me away,. To make me a sacrifice, so that they may turn to him. I would give myself just to have them in heaven with me. But it hurts so much,. I wish it had a description, a way of explaining it. I would bare the cross for them, as Christ did for me. My heart sinks, and all my joy seems stripped away. I can not utter a word of good for a I rather keep silent as of lately, so I can just make it through the day. I am torn in so many ways; I have no escape and no way of understanding why. I feel like tearing all these idolatress temples from this home, but I will be looked upon as a mad man. I wish to leave, or am driven by emotion to do so, but I know I do not want to. I feel out of place everywhere I go, not because of the company that surrounds me, but because I deal with so much, it makes it difficult to place it all down, and be myself. If I could I would serve all my life, but I do not have such strength and courage. To be like Christ in this, would be something very difficult, I want it, I desire it. But I am afraid of it. When I think of all the prophecies I have had, and dreams and visions, it comes to no wonder that God has spoken to me so many times. Not that I am deserving of it. But to hear his word brings comfort to my heart. I have inner peace, I know my maker, my creator, my savior and my God, but I wish for those around me to know him as I do. What is wrong with that? I find no error in desiring such good for loved ones, but how can I handle it, when I am told not to preach to them, when I have a chance to break it to them and they gladly take it in, but the next day, it is all the same. How can I handle such, I pray for my heart never to get hard toward them, for I rather die then have nothing to do with my family.
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My Lords Fire
My Lord sought me As I quickly found myself Embraced in him I am Alive, washed by his Spirit Strengthened, shaped, renewed in his image. Place in an oven's fire
with struggles, obstacles, all this
in an oven's trial
Fallen to my knees praying
thati be not alone
Feeling embraced, my eyes open
to see my Lord with me as all things have passed
Layed in Rest, awakening to the breathe of the Spirit
Thrusted on my feet, seeing the imprints of my lord
in my life
As I was refined in my Lords Fire.
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This is a response to a question on a forum at www.royouth.com. It asked who sinned first?
I'm just curious to know why it is that everyone always says that the Devil sinned first. Yes he did go against God, but can you call it a sin, like it is for us. I'm just curious cuz that's what everyone posts and states. lol anyways...
This is an awesome topic about who sinned first concerning our beloved Adam and Eve, and it's really funny when thinking about it, because the very first thing that comes to mind is to say that Eve did it. That she took the fruit from the tree and then bit from it, and then wondered off to go find Adam and make sure he partook from this act as well. lol
What really happened was that Adam was right there standing next to Eve as the serpent was deceiving them into believing that they will be just like their Maker when they’ve eat from this tree. Adam did nothing whatsoever in trying to stop her from taking this fruit, nor did he rebuke her for it, but he gladly ate it when it was handed to him. To go a step further in this argument, what happens when a couple gets married? Two become one; a union is created between two individuals to where there is no more distinction of separate individuals but of only one entity. You see Eve was created for Adam to complete him, not for her to be under him or subordinate to him. She didn't do the remedial tasks in the garden, but they were both given the responsibility of being Eden's caretakers. Now getting back to whom sinned first, if we are going to place blame on one sole individual without taking into consideration that they were in complete union with one another. That all they were involved in didn't separate them but only acknowledged this God given union more. It is only fair and correct to say that when man fell from God's grace, it wasn't only this one individual that disobeyed God, but that Adam and Eve walked hand in hand in all that they did, from being obedient to becoming disobedient before God.
Let us not point fingers to the Eve's in our lives. For both man and woman were cursed by what Adam and Eve did, and both sexes befell certain curses of toiling the land, to child birth and this so called subordination of woman. One thing is certain, what the first Adam brought upon us, the second Adam freed us from such. We still live in consequence to the sin in our lives and deal with it daily, but this curse of subordination befalling woman is no longer valid if they are believers in our Lord Jesus Christ. It is through him that we have freedom and are conquerors over such in our lives. We as men have to learn to respect our (wives) women as Christ did the church. If anyone thinks his spouse lesser then him, then I pity him or her, for we complete one another in such a union, not detracting from one another. We are here to sustain ourselves in prayer, encouragement, and to be Christ for one another. And yes it does say for wives to be submissive to their husbands, and it should be done out of love and respect, not out of a feeling of demand, inferiority, or just because some male speaks foolishness from the Scriptures thinking he knows and believes that only he is right. For us men, we are to be as Christ was and is for his church, his bride. Sacrificing it all, not thinking ourselves greater but lesser, always providing and supporting, to the point that we love our spouse so much, that it may even mean death (as Christ died for us).
I am not married, I just know this from what my Savior has taught me through his Spirit, and I will never see it any other way. My wife will be for me as Eve was for Adam; she will be my Adam's Eve.
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